Wednesday June 13, 2007

Ahh. Lucky number 13.

I want to go over my finances again because I need to find out exactly what holes I have in my budget. I wish we didn�t have a car payment on top of $440 day care payment. There has to be a breaking point because we have barely enough money to make our minimum payments on everything plus have something to save and something to spend on things that we really need.

Again, work is not going fabulously well. It improves sometimes but it isn�t comfortable at all. I wish I could just go in and come home without thinking twice about leaving work at work.

There are a lot of people that I�m feeling close to. I hope I don�t let friendships hold me back like I normally would. If I pretend I�m in high school I will have a good time but I will be out of a job. I can never afford to be unemployed ever again. I want so many great things for my family and myself. I want to be selfish. I want to become comfortable and secure. The friends I have will certainly never allow silly things to interfere with their money, family or lifestyle. I need to be more aggressive but I don�t feel like I can do that without confidence.

Where the fuck and I going to find confidence at this hour?